The Pregnancy Series - Almost There

Almost there…

The pregnancy continued to challenge me, and when I hit the 3^rdtrimester, I was going to be tested even more. 

He was stretching my belly daily in the last few weeks, the stretch marks started to make themselves at home.

Every time I saw my midwife something was wrong; I was losing too much weight (I ended up losing 12kg during the pregnancy), my uterus was small, he was small, my blood pressure was low, then it was high, then the vomiting came back. Each time I was told something was wrong I felt like I was failing him, like I was doing something wrong. Those feelings of anxiety started to creep in again.

At 28 weeks my family put on an awesome Baby Shower

The anxiety developed into nightmares about the birth. I was having crazy dreams – very common during pregnancy. They were so vivid I would wake up in sweat and would be scared to go back to sleep. My dreams always ended up with me dying. Whether it be in a car accident, during birth, after birth, I always ended up dying. It frightened me immensely, as you can imagine. I started to really fear the birth. I was petrified. My midwife sensed this and told me these emotions were completely normal. She said she has never met a woman that was  confident about the birth. She reassured me that I would be well taken care of and that the hospital prepares for all emergencies during birth, so I was in safe hands. This seemed to make me feel a bit better, but I still had the nightmares.

At 32 weeks Bump was going strong and stretching my belly daily

Something needed to change. So I did some reading, I researched birth in more detail, I wanted to know exactly what the risks were, and what would be done. I know some people don’t want to know everything. I’m the opposite, I want to know, so if it happens I feel like I’m in control and know what is going on. If you know you get easy freaked out by reading things online, then don’t do it. For me, it helped my anxiety and I felt more confident about the birth.  

Things were heading in a positive direction, the nursery was ready, hospital bag was packed and in the car and we were excited to meet him. 

On some days I loved my belly, on others I hated it. It was a love hate relationship . Now he's born, I actually miss it. 

He was due on 21 December, so basically Christmas! From September I started preparing for Christmas as I knew it would be an even busier time than normal for us. I had all the gifts wrapped and ready by the end of October - which I am very glad I did! My sister and brother in-law then help us decorate the house in mid November (Christmas is my favourite time of year and I couldn't wait). We played Christmas music and danced around. It was so much fun letting my hair down and doing something that was not baby related. 

Comfy clothing for a date night in the city to see a show!

I went for a scan at 32 weeks, his growth seemed to have slowed, so they sent me back again 2 weeks later. The growth was fine, but now the Doppler (blood flow) to his brain from the placenta was severely low. So then I got sent back, and again his growth was slowed. It became a constant back and forth, with something being wrong every single time. 

I went for a scan at 37 weeks and 4 days. My midwife called that afternoon; I could tell by her voice that something was wrong.

At 36 weeks I starting to get very tired and was ready to push him out!

My midwife asked me to pop into the birthing unit for a check up on baby. They had called me in 3 times in the past 2 weeks for me to sit on a bed, and then they monitored his heart rate for a good 2 hours. I had this feeling in my stomach that I was about to be told I needed to be induced. They had been warning me for the past 4 weeks that if his growth didn’t improve that we needed to get him out.

I was right.....

Love to you all

Mrs Robinson x